Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Eviction Notice

Date: July 15, 2009

To: Brooke Lyn Robinson:

To the above Tenant now in possession of the below-described premises:
* My uterus
* Mostly in Lake Elsinore, CA

You are hereby notified that your tenancy is hereby terminated as of 2:00 pm, tomorrow, the 16th day of July, 2009.
You are hereby requested to quit, vacate, and deliver possession of said premises to the undersigned on or before 2:00 pm, July 17, 2009.

This notice to vacate is due to your following breach of tenancy:
* Damage to said premises and common areas.
* Assaulting the undersigned by means of physical contact and by causing the reasonable apprehension of fear of imminent physical contact.
* Disturbing the peace of the undersigned and unnecessarily interrupting the quiet enjoyment of said premises and common areas.
* Causing the undersigned nausea, insomnia, heartburn, headaches, leg cramps, odd cravings, grouchiness, and episodes of misery and crying.
* Expanding said premises without the necessary permits.

Should you fail, refuse or neglect to vacate said premises by the aforementioned deadline, I will take such legal action as the law and medicine requires to evict you from said premises. You are to further understand that I shall hold you responsible for all present and future damage to said premises reasonably related to your tenancy and eviction.

In the event that you vacate said premises and it is discovered that you are not Brooke Lyn Robinson, but, rather, are a male, I reserve the right to change your name at my discretion. Further, you will wear baby girl clothing for the first 18 months after vacating said premises, as we have reasonably relied on information given us by medical personnel. To discard the baby girl clothing procured to date would cause the undersigned significant financial hardship.

Sarah Lyn Robinson (d.b.a. Mommy)

( I totally got this off of my friend Diana's Blog because I thought it was so cute and funny, so thanks Diana for your creativity and for letting me steal and modify this even without your knowing I was going to )


Sundbergs said...

Yeah that she is coming! good luck.

The Perry Family said...

Nerd! That's a good one! Good luck! Can't wait to see her!

The Picketts said...

I'm glad you could use it! And no worries - I totally stole it from my sister's friend! :o) Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinkin' of you and can't wait to see her!!! Love ya tons, girl!

Emily said...

That is adorable! I love it :) You are so clever!

Auntie Steph said...

Love it !
Good luck today !

Mashaide said...

Cute! She'll be born on my dad's birthday.

Hil & Collin said...

love it! just got a text from you sayin they are doin a seasection soon! hooray!

Amanda Naron said...

Hey Sarah, hope everything went well with the C-Section, i had the same thing. It's not too bad, first day is the worst. awww.. so happy for you both!