Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I did NOT expect this.....

SO......I went to my post op appointment on Monday and got all of the information I needed to know about this knee of mine. A lot of information that I expected and a lot of information that I did not expect was given to me. Here is how it went!
The doctor comes in and totally remembers my whole story, how I tore my meniscus, everything about the surgery, the fact that I have a 9 week old baby, that I am breastfeeding, all the details about me he remembers! I am super duper impressed by this especially since he has MANY, MANY patients. I am very happy with this Doctor and if I EVER have another knee injury (which I prey I never do) I will for sure be going to him!
Anyway, back to the appointment, he tells me that he was able to salvage my meniscus and that there was good and bad news that comes along with that. Of course I wanted the good news first and was shocked that there would even be bad news, wouldn't that just be everything I would want??? A salvaged meniscus??? Well there is bad news anyway, but I got the good news first! The good news is that he was able to salvage my meniscus and able to stitch it back in place! He checked the strength of my ACL repair that I had done 2 years ago and says that the doctor did a great job on it, which is nice to know. He cleaned up some torn cartilage that I had all jacked up in there and I even got to see the entire video of what he did inside of my knee with him talking me through it. This is something that I have NEVER had done before with my previous surgery experiences! It was cool to see the video and understand what exactly is going on in that knee of mine. My meniscus was TOTALLY in the wrong spot and that flap that was hanging in the wrong spot did NOT want to be put back in place, it took him like 3 times of trying to push it back in place for the thing to finally stay there. I got to see him stitch it back in place with blue stitches with clamps on the other end which was cool. I then got to see him go in with a rotating blade type thing and clean up the floating cartilage all over in my knee. He says my cartilage looks worse than an 80 year old knee should, but that is part of the bad news lets stick to the good news for now! By repairing the meniscus I am most likely not going to get arthritis AS SOON as I would if he were to just cut it out. I should also live a life of more knee comfort with my meniscus being there rather than a hole in the place it was supposed to be. I was grateful that he was willing to try to repair the meniscus and just not do the easy thing and just cut the thing off. This is something that I very much appreciate! OK so that was pretty much the good news, there seems to be more bad news than good news which is strange to me. The bad news is this! He can not promise me that this stitched meniscus is going to even stick first of all. He says that the meniscus is an area of the body that just naturally does not have a very good blood flow so it is hard for it to repair itself when there is not a good blood flow getting to it. He ended up scuffing up the edges of my meniscus to make it bleed so that it will try to repair that bleed and in the process re attach itself. He says that I could go through this whole entire thing and then one day my meniscus could just pop back out of place and I would have to go in for another surgery to just cut it off. He said that I am going to have to take it much easier on my knee's for the rest of my life and that I am pretty much going to have to kiss away the life of being a runner :( I am very sad about this! He says that I should not even run up to 20 miles a week and I used to run about 40 miles a week. He says my runs should be kept to 2 to 3 mile runs and that used to be my warm up! He says I should take up cycling or swimming which is still nice but it's just not running! The thing I love about running is that you can do it anywhere, at any time, in any place and all you need is your legs!!! I am trying to not be too depressed about this! I am also sad because I love the way running makes my body look when I am being a good runner and I HOPE that something else can do the job just as good? SO pretty much this injury has changed my life forever! And the last part of the bad news is that I am not going to be able to put ANY pressure on my leg for 6 weeks!!!!! 6 whole weeks!!!!!! That is a very long time to not be able for any normal person to walk but especially a lady with a 9 week old baby! I can not carry my child ANYWHERE!!!! It is very sad! SOooooo...... I am going to be living at my parents house for the next 6 weeks so I can have 24 hour care since I really can't survive without it :( I totally LOVE being here and LOVE being with my parents and my sister and her family, I LOVE that they are even willing to care for us for that long and let us intrude into their every day lives for that long!!!!! I can think of many positive things of being here for 6 weeks but boy am I sad about other things!!! FIRST and MOST IMPORTANTLY I am going to miss my husband SO MUCH!!!! I already do!!!! He is going to be coming down here pretty much every weekend and hopefully some weekday evenings even! I am sad that in 6 weeks a baby changes SO MUCH and Kip is not going to be here every single day to see that! I am going to miss my puppy Echo, my friends, my independence and my me time! BUT I am just trying to stay positive it could be MUCH WORSE than it is! This situation is what is going to be best for my knee LONG TERM and that is what matters to all of us! We as a family are willing to do what it takes for this meniscus to end in a good result! So that's it!!!!!!
I normally have a yearly Halloween party that will not be happening this year but if any of you friends of mine want to take it over for this year Kip and I would be happy to come up for it :) Sorry folks, I am pretty much going to be here till the beginning of November, CRAZY!!!!
If any of you want to visit I would be happy to have you come on by down here and carry my kid around for me :)
And just so you all know my milk has dried up!!!!! It totally SUCKS because I wanted to nurse Brooke till she was 1 and was totally intending to do so and after this surgery my milk supply has just left me! The doctor says that is normal because my body is using SO much energy to just get better that it may not have the energy to produce milk, especially with the stress this is bringing. SO yeah, SORRY BROOKE, sorry folks for letting you all down. I tried!
OK, well keep an eye out because in these next 6 weeks I will be playing catch up with my blog posts, and finishing my thank you cards from Brooke's baby showers, I KNOW I AM A LOOSER!!!!
Love you all and prey for me to keep a positive attitude!

11 comments:

Traci Elizabeth said...

Sarah...you are so funny. you didn't let anyone down by having to give up nursing!!!! All we care about is that you are doing well and taking care of yourself! Good luck...I am here if you need me!

Emily said...

Sarah, I just love you! I am sooooo sorry about the running thing. I felt that way when they told me I should not dance anymore. But, then the prognosis was better than originally thought and as long as I get in shape, I can eventually dance. Hang in there! I am here for you, call me if you need to just talk!

Amanda said...

Well you did let me down quite a bit with the nursing thing, but I think Brooke is fine with it...;)
You have gone through so much already and you are doing a great job hanging in there. I will do my best to make these 6 weeks fun for you!

Heather said...

Sorry Sarah! You are a trooper and it is so great that you have such an awesome family and DOCTOR, that is really cool that you were able to see the surgery! I know what an adrenaline junky you are, so I know it must be a bummer getting this prognosis! Hopefully it will turn out the best way possible and you will find another form of exercise you love just as much! Cheer up Charlie and I'm going to try and get a girls night together out there for you soon, a movie maybe, no dancing! ;) Keep us updated!

Auntie Steph said...

Honey, you're not a looser and do your best to remember the good things about this situation. You'll find something you love doing as much as running....we all figure out ways to adjust to the things we have no control over. Just enjoy all the quality time you and Brooke are getting with your parents, David and Amanda and her wonderful family. Odds are you'll never have this opportunity again. Love you and hang in there !

The Gray Family said...

So sorry that you have to be off your feet for SO LONG, but glad you have a great place to do it :>) We will miss you around here, but take care of yourself and good luck!

Dacia said...

Sorry to hear the bad news about running. That's so awesome that you have your family's house to crash at and be taken care of! Get better soon!

Hil and Collin said...

honestly, you are such a champ and so incrediably posistive! can you still do the p90x? if your concerned about your body that will do it! Dont worry, your a strong girl and like i said before, it took yo 9 months to gain that weight so it will take some time to lose it too! keep smiling! your the best!

Ryan and Brindi said...

oh honey that stinks! good job keeping up the positive attitude. what a great family to take care of you for the whole time and help out with that sweet baby. i hope that your knee does heal really really well and you won't have any more serious problems!

The Picketts said...

so - first of all...I"m SOOOO sorry about all of that! That's SO not fun! And Second...don't worry about the breast feeding thing! It's overrated (ha ha ha). Seriously though...your baby will turn out JUST FINE, breast fed OR bottle fed! And trust me...you'll realize that with your second one even more (I was a freak about Gracie and with Sienna - it's SOO opposite!) Just so you know, we'll keep you and your little family in our prayers! Good luck, my friend!

Todd Family said...

I'm sorry about all that! that's got to be hard! But look on the bright side...that's pretty good that he is still letting you run 2 to 3 miles!! Keven's mom just had knee surgery and she can't run...ever. not even a mile. i know that it's hard being away from kip, but you guys will grow and you do what you got to do. kev is in utah going to school and i am working in california. we've seen each other one weekend since aug. 17th. keep the positive attitude and you guys will be just fine! i promise! at least kip isn't going to war or something right? attitude is everything! you'll do great! i'll pray for you!