POP!!!!!

Yep, POP that is the title of this post and it is because that is the sound my right knee made the other night while out hanging out with friends. NOT GOOD!!! I got reconstructive knee surgery on my right knee a little over a year ago, and here goes again!
I thought that my knee was stronger than it apparently is and it is quite frustrating to me. I have been running regularly and hitting the gym, as well as doing this cool workout through the P90X in home work out cd's! I am finally as dedicated to my fitness as I have wanted to be for a long time now.
Let's rewind....
When I hurt my right knee originally I was training for a marathon and was up to 16 miles in my long runs. I was in the best physical shape of my life when I tore my ACL and had to get surgery. I was completely useless for 3 months and it has been a long recovery since then. Emotionally an injury like this is not good for me at all. I am a very active person and it is really hard for me to be held back by something like this.
So FINALLY, FINALLY for the first time since my surgery, I am totally dedicated to my fitness once again! I have been running with my sister in law and we are up to 10 miles on our long runs. It feels so great to be getting it all back and to see the slow changes and progress in my body. And then POP!!!
All I was doing was attempting a front walk over (for any of you that know gymnastics), nothing you would EVER think would cause a knee injury. I used to be able to do WAY more than a front walk over since I was in gymnastics for many years as a child. I suppose the way I came down on my leg, kinda at a twisted angle with a downward force, sent my knee sliding in all the wrong directions. Everyone that was there with me heard the pop, it was LOUD!! And I felt it!
It was not nearly as painful as the times I tore my other two ACL's so I have high hopes that nothing was torn. I was able to walk on it with a limp afterward, which is also better then prior times, and my knee has not gotten as swollen as the other times. So that is all good news to me! I am still walking with a pretty good Gimp Limp and do not know how long this will last. I am hoping to be running again by the middle of next week so we will see??? Wish me luck!!!
I do refuse to get it looked at because even if they told me that something was torn, at this point I am in no place emotionally or financially to deal with that right now. So it just better get better.
I am trying to have a good, positive outlook on the situation. I was going to start playing in a woman's flag football league every Wed night. I was pretty sure my knee was strong enough to handle it, but this little incident has opened my eyes and made me realise my knee is not as strong as I think it is. I could have gotten hurt much worse if I had been hurt while playing a sport like that. I also wonder if it is the lord's way of making me slow down a little so I can get pregnant since that is the thing I want right now more than anything in the entire world. I now have a good idea of the strength of my knee, which, quite frankly is really depressing to me. I am now beginning to realise that I may NEVER EVER be able to be as active as I once was and as much as I still want to be, due to the knees I am living with. Nothing I can do about it so I just gotta move on and deal with it. Plus, I am still quite blessed, so many people have it so much worse.
Thanks for listening to my sob story. I really just needed to feel sorry for myself.