Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sweet, Sweet Honesty
So tonight at dinner my niece Makenna reaches over and rubs my belly (that is still a belly unfortunatly) and says "WOW Rah Rah your belly looks really, really full!!" Suddenly it was!!!! I did not take one more bite from that moment on! I AM ON A DIET and when I can work out, I AM WORKING OUT LIKE CRAZY!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I did NOT expect this.....
SO......I went to my post op appointment on Monday and got all of the information I needed to know about this knee of mine. A lot of information that I expected and a lot of information that I did not expect was given to me. Here is how it went!
The doctor comes in and totally remembers my whole story, how I tore my meniscus, everything about the surgery, the fact that I have a 9 week old baby, that I am breastfeeding, all the details about me he remembers! I am super duper impressed by this especially since he has MANY, MANY patients. I am very happy with this Doctor and if I EVER have another knee injury (which I prey I never do) I will for sure be going to him!
Anyway, back to the appointment, he tells me that he was able to salvage my meniscus and that there was good and bad news that comes along with that. Of course I wanted the good news first and was shocked that there would even be bad news, wouldn't that just be everything I would want??? A salvaged meniscus??? Well there is bad news anyway, but I got the good news first! The good news is that he was able to salvage my meniscus and able to stitch it back in place! He checked the strength of my ACL repair that I had done 2 years ago and says that the doctor did a great job on it, which is nice to know. He cleaned up some torn cartilage that I had all jacked up in there and I even got to see the entire video of what he did inside of my knee with him talking me through it. This is something that I have NEVER had done before with my previous surgery experiences! It was cool to see the video and understand what exactly is going on in that knee of mine. My meniscus was TOTALLY in the wrong spot and that flap that was hanging in the wrong spot did NOT want to be put back in place, it took him like 3 times of trying to push it back in place for the thing to finally stay there. I got to see him stitch it back in place with blue stitches with clamps on the other end which was cool. I then got to see him go in with a rotating blade type thing and clean up the floating cartilage all over in my knee. He says my cartilage looks worse than an 80 year old knee should, but that is part of the bad news lets stick to the good news for now! By repairing the meniscus I am most likely not going to get arthritis AS SOON as I would if he were to just cut it out. I should also live a life of more knee comfort with my meniscus being there rather than a hole in the place it was supposed to be. I was grateful that he was willing to try to repair the meniscus and just not do the easy thing and just cut the thing off. This is something that I very much appreciate! OK so that was pretty much the good news, there seems to be more bad news than good news which is strange to me. The bad news is this! He can not promise me that this stitched meniscus is going to even stick first of all. He says that the meniscus is an area of the body that just naturally does not have a very good blood flow so it is hard for it to repair itself when there is not a good blood flow getting to it. He ended up scuffing up the edges of my meniscus to make it bleed so that it will try to repair that bleed and in the process re attach itself. He says that I could go through this whole entire thing and then one day my meniscus could just pop back out of place and I would have to go in for another surgery to just cut it off. He said that I am going to have to take it much easier on my knee's for the rest of my life and that I am pretty much going to have to kiss away the life of being a runner :( I am very sad about this! He says that I should not even run up to 20 miles a week and I used to run about 40 miles a week. He says my runs should be kept to 2 to 3 mile runs and that used to be my warm up! He says I should take up cycling or swimming which is still nice but it's just not running! The thing I love about running is that you can do it anywhere, at any time, in any place and all you need is your legs!!! I am trying to not be too depressed about this! I am also sad because I love the way running makes my body look when I am being a good runner and I HOPE that something else can do the job just as good? SO pretty much this injury has changed my life forever! And the last part of the bad news is that I am not going to be able to put ANY pressure on my leg for 6 weeks!!!!! 6 whole weeks!!!!!! That is a very long time to not be able for any normal person to walk but especially a lady with a 9 week old baby! I can not carry my child ANYWHERE!!!! It is very sad! SOooooo...... I am going to be living at my parents house for the next 6 weeks so I can have 24 hour care since I really can't survive without it :( I totally LOVE being here and LOVE being with my parents and my sister and her family, I LOVE that they are even willing to care for us for that long and let us intrude into their every day lives for that long!!!!! I can think of many positive things of being here for 6 weeks but boy am I sad about other things!!! FIRST and MOST IMPORTANTLY I am going to miss my husband SO MUCH!!!! I already do!!!! He is going to be coming down here pretty much every weekend and hopefully some weekday evenings even! I am sad that in 6 weeks a baby changes SO MUCH and Kip is not going to be here every single day to see that! I am going to miss my puppy Echo, my friends, my independence and my me time! BUT I am just trying to stay positive it could be MUCH WORSE than it is! This situation is what is going to be best for my knee LONG TERM and that is what matters to all of us! We as a family are willing to do what it takes for this meniscus to end in a good result! So that's it!!!!!!
I normally have a yearly Halloween party that will not be happening this year but if any of you friends of mine want to take it over for this year Kip and I would be happy to come up for it :) Sorry folks, I am pretty much going to be here till the beginning of November, CRAZY!!!!
If any of you want to visit I would be happy to have you come on by down here and carry my kid around for me :)
And just so you all know my milk has dried up!!!!! It totally SUCKS because I wanted to nurse Brooke till she was 1 and was totally intending to do so and after this surgery my milk supply has just left me! The doctor says that is normal because my body is using SO much energy to just get better that it may not have the energy to produce milk, especially with the stress this is bringing. SO yeah, SORRY BROOKE, sorry folks for letting you all down. I tried!
OK, well keep an eye out because in these next 6 weeks I will be playing catch up with my blog posts, and finishing my thank you cards from Brooke's baby showers, I KNOW I AM A LOOSER!!!!
Love you all and prey for me to keep a positive attitude!
The doctor comes in and totally remembers my whole story, how I tore my meniscus, everything about the surgery, the fact that I have a 9 week old baby, that I am breastfeeding, all the details about me he remembers! I am super duper impressed by this especially since he has MANY, MANY patients. I am very happy with this Doctor and if I EVER have another knee injury (which I prey I never do) I will for sure be going to him!
Anyway, back to the appointment, he tells me that he was able to salvage my meniscus and that there was good and bad news that comes along with that. Of course I wanted the good news first and was shocked that there would even be bad news, wouldn't that just be everything I would want??? A salvaged meniscus??? Well there is bad news anyway, but I got the good news first! The good news is that he was able to salvage my meniscus and able to stitch it back in place! He checked the strength of my ACL repair that I had done 2 years ago and says that the doctor did a great job on it, which is nice to know. He cleaned up some torn cartilage that I had all jacked up in there and I even got to see the entire video of what he did inside of my knee with him talking me through it. This is something that I have NEVER had done before with my previous surgery experiences! It was cool to see the video and understand what exactly is going on in that knee of mine. My meniscus was TOTALLY in the wrong spot and that flap that was hanging in the wrong spot did NOT want to be put back in place, it took him like 3 times of trying to push it back in place for the thing to finally stay there. I got to see him stitch it back in place with blue stitches with clamps on the other end which was cool. I then got to see him go in with a rotating blade type thing and clean up the floating cartilage all over in my knee. He says my cartilage looks worse than an 80 year old knee should, but that is part of the bad news lets stick to the good news for now! By repairing the meniscus I am most likely not going to get arthritis AS SOON as I would if he were to just cut it out. I should also live a life of more knee comfort with my meniscus being there rather than a hole in the place it was supposed to be. I was grateful that he was willing to try to repair the meniscus and just not do the easy thing and just cut the thing off. This is something that I very much appreciate! OK so that was pretty much the good news, there seems to be more bad news than good news which is strange to me. The bad news is this! He can not promise me that this stitched meniscus is going to even stick first of all. He says that the meniscus is an area of the body that just naturally does not have a very good blood flow so it is hard for it to repair itself when there is not a good blood flow getting to it. He ended up scuffing up the edges of my meniscus to make it bleed so that it will try to repair that bleed and in the process re attach itself. He says that I could go through this whole entire thing and then one day my meniscus could just pop back out of place and I would have to go in for another surgery to just cut it off. He said that I am going to have to take it much easier on my knee's for the rest of my life and that I am pretty much going to have to kiss away the life of being a runner :( I am very sad about this! He says that I should not even run up to 20 miles a week and I used to run about 40 miles a week. He says my runs should be kept to 2 to 3 mile runs and that used to be my warm up! He says I should take up cycling or swimming which is still nice but it's just not running! The thing I love about running is that you can do it anywhere, at any time, in any place and all you need is your legs!!! I am trying to not be too depressed about this! I am also sad because I love the way running makes my body look when I am being a good runner and I HOPE that something else can do the job just as good? SO pretty much this injury has changed my life forever! And the last part of the bad news is that I am not going to be able to put ANY pressure on my leg for 6 weeks!!!!! 6 whole weeks!!!!!! That is a very long time to not be able for any normal person to walk but especially a lady with a 9 week old baby! I can not carry my child ANYWHERE!!!! It is very sad! SOooooo...... I am going to be living at my parents house for the next 6 weeks so I can have 24 hour care since I really can't survive without it :( I totally LOVE being here and LOVE being with my parents and my sister and her family, I LOVE that they are even willing to care for us for that long and let us intrude into their every day lives for that long!!!!! I can think of many positive things of being here for 6 weeks but boy am I sad about other things!!! FIRST and MOST IMPORTANTLY I am going to miss my husband SO MUCH!!!! I already do!!!! He is going to be coming down here pretty much every weekend and hopefully some weekday evenings even! I am sad that in 6 weeks a baby changes SO MUCH and Kip is not going to be here every single day to see that! I am going to miss my puppy Echo, my friends, my independence and my me time! BUT I am just trying to stay positive it could be MUCH WORSE than it is! This situation is what is going to be best for my knee LONG TERM and that is what matters to all of us! We as a family are willing to do what it takes for this meniscus to end in a good result! So that's it!!!!!!
I normally have a yearly Halloween party that will not be happening this year but if any of you friends of mine want to take it over for this year Kip and I would be happy to come up for it :) Sorry folks, I am pretty much going to be here till the beginning of November, CRAZY!!!!
If any of you want to visit I would be happy to have you come on by down here and carry my kid around for me :)
And just so you all know my milk has dried up!!!!! It totally SUCKS because I wanted to nurse Brooke till she was 1 and was totally intending to do so and after this surgery my milk supply has just left me! The doctor says that is normal because my body is using SO much energy to just get better that it may not have the energy to produce milk, especially with the stress this is bringing. SO yeah, SORRY BROOKE, sorry folks for letting you all down. I tried!
OK, well keep an eye out because in these next 6 weeks I will be playing catch up with my blog posts, and finishing my thank you cards from Brooke's baby showers, I KNOW I AM A LOOSER!!!!
Love you all and prey for me to keep a positive attitude!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Bucket Tear
On Thursday, September 10th I had my 3'rd knee surgery!!! This time I was getting my Meniscus repaired which I tore while at work back in April. I was pregnant with Miss Brooke at the time so I was not able to get an MRI to see exactly what I had done to the knee. About a week after I had Brooke I went in for my MRI and they concluded after review that I had a Bucket Tear on my Meniscus as well as some other cartilage damage. My Meniscus had torn in a way that there was a flap of Meniscus flipped over and out of place. The doctor was concerned that since I had been walking around for 5 months with this flap hanging in the wrong spot that he would not be able to salvage it. In that case they would just need to cut the flap off and I would be missing that part of my Meniscus which would cause arthritis earlier in my knee and more knee pain on a regular basis. He wanted to do the surgery as soon as possible to increase the chances he would have of saving my Meniscus flap. So..... 8 weeks after having Brooke I headed in for my knee surgery. I was not too nervous about the surgery aspect of the day but of the result being that they could not salvage the material. I was also nervous about how I would be able to still care for my little girl while recovering from knee surgery. I was sad as well because I would have to pump and dump my breast milk and have Brooke on a bottle for a good 2 days. Brooke has already been having issues with the desire to breast feed so this made me nervous that the bottle feeding for a few days would make her not ever want to go back to the breast.
Well the results are in:
~The doctor said that the surgery went very well! They were able to salvage my Meniscus and put everything back into place which is a GREAT THING!!!! The recovery is going to be a bit longer than if they had just cut off the Meniscus but the long term result will be SO MUCH BETTER!!!
~I came out of my anesthesia quickly and without getting sick at all.
~The doctor has ordered that I put NO pressure on my leg at all for right now and I go back in on Monday for my post op appointment where I will learn more about the recovery and what not's!
~I looked at the incision points last night and they are not bad at all. They went in in 3 different spots and I think that the incisions are pretty small. SO yeah, I have 3 more scars to add to my leg :)
~My family has been taking wonderful care of both Brooke and I, Brooke is in no way being neglected so that makes me feel good.
~The bad news is that Brooke is totally refusing to go back to the breast. I have also learned by pumping and dumping that my breasts have not been producing nearly as much milk as they need to be producing. I think part of the reason she has been preferring a bottle to my breast is that she can get full from a bottle but hardly gets anything from my breast. I did not realise how little milk my body was producing. So I am pumping a few times a day to make sure she still gets some breast milk and feeding that to her along with formula to fill her up. The situation is in no way what I ever wanted, but I am trying to keep a positive attitude and do what I can for my little girl. I wanted to breast feed her up until she was 1 year old or walking but it looks like she will be a bottle baby with some pumped milk as well as formula. I hope that I can do better with my next child :(
Here are some pictures we have taken in the last couple of days. I just got knee surgery so that is why I look SO BAD!!!
The day of the surgery!
My baby girl and I!
Makenna, Brooke, and I all hanging out!
Cuddle time!
I am shocked that with so much love from little ones and them being so stinkin close to my leg, that I have not gotten further damaged :) The kids are being very gentle and Makenna is quite interested in the idea that my knee got cut open to get fixed on the inside. She wants to see the cut's SO BADLY!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Miss Personality
Our little Brooke has alreay got quite the little personality I must say! Brooke is a funny little kid who loves to make faces, smile, talk, and try to laugh! I absolutly LOVE this stage of her little baby life! I love, love, love to hear her talk to me, I love to make her smile at me, I love hearing her learn how to laugh, I love that right before she falls asleep she has a melt down and needs me to hold her close and tight and whisper in her ear as she falls asleep, I love that she loves being out and about and is such a good kid when we are, I love that she is not phased at all by her big doggy Echo when he gets in her face to give her loves, I love that she has been sleeping through the night almost since she was a newborn, I love that she is so strong and so alert, I love that she is already stubborn and has a mind of her own, and I love so much how much she has changed my and Kip's life forever!!!! I can't get enough of this little lady, she is my world right now and I am so grateful for it! Brooke has brought SO much joy to one of the hardest years of Kip and I's life! At times little Brooke has pretty much been close to all that has been good in our world, she has alredy been a strength and a joy to our home! I never ever knew just how much my parents loved me until I became a mom! Here are some pictures I got of Brooke the other day when all I was trying to get was a smile :) Never really got the smile but I got o' so many other faces!
And here is a video we just got of her tonight talking to us! Normally when I finally pull out the camera the girl will stop talking, tonight she was going crazy for me and her Grammy! Enjoy!
Video of Brooke Babbling
Blessed
On Sunday, August 23'rd our little Brooke was given a name and a blessing by her daddy! Those who participated were Kip Sr., Tyler Carlson, Danny Wyrick, Todd McKamey, Rick Robinson, Gregg Hardy, Bishop Hughes, Todd Moran, Clint Hannon, &Matt Thompson. Kip did an absolutely AMAZING job blessing her, I could not have been more happy! I started crying at the very beginning when he was talking about what a blessing she is to he and I. Kip was very thoughtful with all of the words that he chose and I could tell it came straight from the heart and was deeply meant. What a wonderful experience it is to see your husband use his Priesthood in such a manner. I would have to say I am glad that it is the fathers that have the responsibility to bless their children, what pressure that must be? But like I said Kip did an amazing job, little Brooke is lucky to have such a fantastic daddy who adores her so much! Kinda a funny and freaky thing is that little Brooke had 11 men all together participating in this blessing, all with a hand on her, and she almost fell out of their arms at one point. She suddenly decided to do a roll and thank goodness the guys caught her. I would have been so upset if 11 men could not hold 1 baby. But all was well, she did not cry much at all, and she came out unharmed and full of incredible blessings from her daddy!
The day was wonderful to be able to spend it with family and close friends! I kinda dropped the ball with the whole inviting people to her blessing and I feel so bad to this day for it. I was and still have been a bit overwhelmed with life and it had been o' so busy up until that point that I really did not plan as much and as detailed as I should have for her blessing. I wish I would have invited more extended family and friends. Please forgive me all of you that I did not invite. I am truly so sorry! We did have a great day with our families in town. Almost everybody from both sides of our immediate family were able to be there for the occasion which is really hard to do. We had a wonderful time after the blessing having a nice brunch back at our place and just visiting. I love that Kip and I's families get along so dang well, we all just feel like one big happy family and it is just the best!
Brooke's dress is a very special dress to me and I hope that it will be to each of our girls. Her dress was made by her Grammy Carlson out of my wedding dress! The front of her dress is the train of my wedding dress and it worked out just perfectly! I was SO happy with how the dress turned out and will be forever grateful to my mom for doing that for our little girls! I made her bracelet the night before and my friend Katie Gunnell made her little headband and flower. The flower is also made out of material from my wedding dress. Everything was hand made and with love! Thanks to all!
Here are some pictures from that wonderful day!
Brooke Lyn Robinson
Daddy & Mommy with their little princess
Group shot
Both sides of our family
Grandma & Grandpa Robinson, Mommy, Daddy, & Brooke, Grammy & Pa Carlson, PaPa Wyrick
Carlson Family
Robinson Family
Mommy & Brooke
Daddy & Brooke
Grandma & Grandpa Robinson with Brooke
Grandma & Grandpa Carlson with Brooke
The Grandma's & Brooke
The Grandpa's & Brooke
Front of dress
Back of dress
Monday, September 7, 2009
Made By...
I had to take some pictures of little Brooke in these 2 dresses before she grew out of them because they are some of my very favorite outfits she has in this size and best of all they were made my my wonderful friends!!!
This first Dress was made by my friend Meagan and I just LOVE IT!!!!
The bow is made by my friend Katie Gunnell and I LOVE IT!!!
The bracelet was made by ME and I LOVE IT!!!!
This next dress was made by my friend Melissa and I LOVE IT!!!!
The bow was made by my same friend Melissa to go with the dress and I LOVE IT!!!!
And the beautiful little girl was made by Kip and I and WE LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!
This first Dress was made by my friend Meagan and I just LOVE IT!!!!
The bow is made by my friend Katie Gunnell and I LOVE IT!!!
The bracelet was made by ME and I LOVE IT!!!!
This next dress was made by my friend Melissa and I LOVE IT!!!!
The bow was made by my same friend Melissa to go with the dress and I LOVE IT!!!!
And the beautiful little girl was made by Kip and I and WE LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
1 Month Old
Ok so this post is SUPER LATE!!! Brooke is actually almost 2 months old but I need to document her 1 month pictures and her stats and all that jazz so let's pretend that she is 1 month old :) I am in no hurry to have her grow up anyway :)
I have decided that I am going to take my own pictures of her each month accept for 6 months, 1 year... you know important ones like that I will take her in to get shots done :) I wish I would have taken her in for newborn ones :( I never even got as many of her as I do for my friends and family when she was newborn. Isn't that sad? Now I can never go back :(
( I am going to write this as if I was writing at her 1 month mark )
Well here is our little Brooke at 1 month old!
Her stats when she was born were 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long!
Her stats at her 1 week appointment were 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long!
Her stats at her 1 month appointment were 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long!
They did not give me what percentile she is, I do not think they do that until the 2 month mark? I am going to ask next time what percentile she is because I am super curious! I thought that she was doing a great job at growing and all BUT my mom and sister seemed to be worried that she had not gained enough weight :) They are used to chubby and rolly babies because my mom's kids were chubby and rolly and so were Amanda's and little Brooke is not chubby or rolly. I think that she has her daddy's body type as a little baby and not mine. I have been feeding her regularly, the only thing is that she has been sleeping for LONG hours at a time at night. I let her sleep until she wakes up because I have been told by MANY people that you DO NOT wake a sleeping baby. So that is what I have been doing. Brooke goes about 4 hour gaps at night so I end up feeding her at about 8 pm, 12 am, 4 am, and then 8 am. NOT TOO BAD!!! I usually go to bed between 12 and 1 am so I really only wake up 1 time in the middle of the night to feed her. I feel super lucky to have such a good sleeper! There has been a night or two where she has skipped her 4 am feeding and has gone about 8-9 hours at night! When Brooke is awake she is super duper alert and has just started smiling as a reaction to me or her daddy at about 4 weeks of age. I LOVE to see her smile and react to me. She even does this little trying to laugh sound that just melts my heart! I totally, totally LOVE this kid! She is such a blessing to our home and to our family and I already can not even imagine our lives without her!
Our first month has been pretty positive, not much at all to complain about. The only struggles we have had is suddenly with breast feeding! In the hospital Brooke was the model breast feeder. The lactation consultant even jokingly asked if she could take Brooke around to teach the other kids how to latch on so well. WELL.... suddenly at about the end of the first week of age she started deciding to have issues latching on. It is not that she does not know how to latch on, she just won't even try or even allow herself to get close to trying. She just screams, and screams and will not even get close to my boob to try to latch on. It is not every single time and I can not even find a pattern to her madness so it is hard and has been a struggle for us. I am refusing to give in and am determined to breast feed her! I usually hold out till she will finally latch on, but there have been a few times I have given her bottles of breast milk which she takes like a champ! It is hard for me to not get my feelings hurt at moments like that when she will not even get close to my boob but sucks down a bottle like a champ. I am determined to work it out!
I have also had a really hard time adjusting to being a mom and doing all of the other every day life stuff like blogging for instance, or making her birth announcement (which I have given up on), cleaning, grocery shopping, all of that stuff! I feel like I am being a good mom but sucking at every other aspect of life and that makes me sad! I am working on it but it is taking more time than I would like it to. Am I the only one that struggles with this with their first?? I feel like I am the only one that struggles with this because all of you other women make it look like it was never ever a struggle. Anyway, I am working on it, it is taking time, but I am learning slowly but surely!
O and I still have a nasty gut and it is making me sick and sad because I can't even work out till after my knee surgery. I just can't wait to be thin again!
Well all of this jazz is SO SO SO worth having this beautiful little baby girl in our family!!!
I promise to keep you better posted from now on and I will actually post her monthly stats at the month instead of a month late :)
I have decided that I am going to take my own pictures of her each month accept for 6 months, 1 year... you know important ones like that I will take her in to get shots done :) I wish I would have taken her in for newborn ones :( I never even got as many of her as I do for my friends and family when she was newborn. Isn't that sad? Now I can never go back :(
( I am going to write this as if I was writing at her 1 month mark )
Well here is our little Brooke at 1 month old!
Her stats when she was born were 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long!
Her stats at her 1 week appointment were 8 lbs 9 oz and 21 inches long!
Her stats at her 1 month appointment were 9 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long!
They did not give me what percentile she is, I do not think they do that until the 2 month mark? I am going to ask next time what percentile she is because I am super curious! I thought that she was doing a great job at growing and all BUT my mom and sister seemed to be worried that she had not gained enough weight :) They are used to chubby and rolly babies because my mom's kids were chubby and rolly and so were Amanda's and little Brooke is not chubby or rolly. I think that she has her daddy's body type as a little baby and not mine. I have been feeding her regularly, the only thing is that she has been sleeping for LONG hours at a time at night. I let her sleep until she wakes up because I have been told by MANY people that you DO NOT wake a sleeping baby. So that is what I have been doing. Brooke goes about 4 hour gaps at night so I end up feeding her at about 8 pm, 12 am, 4 am, and then 8 am. NOT TOO BAD!!! I usually go to bed between 12 and 1 am so I really only wake up 1 time in the middle of the night to feed her. I feel super lucky to have such a good sleeper! There has been a night or two where she has skipped her 4 am feeding and has gone about 8-9 hours at night! When Brooke is awake she is super duper alert and has just started smiling as a reaction to me or her daddy at about 4 weeks of age. I LOVE to see her smile and react to me. She even does this little trying to laugh sound that just melts my heart! I totally, totally LOVE this kid! She is such a blessing to our home and to our family and I already can not even imagine our lives without her!
Our first month has been pretty positive, not much at all to complain about. The only struggles we have had is suddenly with breast feeding! In the hospital Brooke was the model breast feeder. The lactation consultant even jokingly asked if she could take Brooke around to teach the other kids how to latch on so well. WELL.... suddenly at about the end of the first week of age she started deciding to have issues latching on. It is not that she does not know how to latch on, she just won't even try or even allow herself to get close to trying. She just screams, and screams and will not even get close to my boob to try to latch on. It is not every single time and I can not even find a pattern to her madness so it is hard and has been a struggle for us. I am refusing to give in and am determined to breast feed her! I usually hold out till she will finally latch on, but there have been a few times I have given her bottles of breast milk which she takes like a champ! It is hard for me to not get my feelings hurt at moments like that when she will not even get close to my boob but sucks down a bottle like a champ. I am determined to work it out!
I have also had a really hard time adjusting to being a mom and doing all of the other every day life stuff like blogging for instance, or making her birth announcement (which I have given up on), cleaning, grocery shopping, all of that stuff! I feel like I am being a good mom but sucking at every other aspect of life and that makes me sad! I am working on it but it is taking more time than I would like it to. Am I the only one that struggles with this with their first?? I feel like I am the only one that struggles with this because all of you other women make it look like it was never ever a struggle. Anyway, I am working on it, it is taking time, but I am learning slowly but surely!
O and I still have a nasty gut and it is making me sick and sad because I can't even work out till after my knee surgery. I just can't wait to be thin again!
Well all of this jazz is SO SO SO worth having this beautiful little baby girl in our family!!!
I promise to keep you better posted from now on and I will actually post her monthly stats at the month instead of a month late :)
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